Yesterday I went to the Optometrist. I was due to go just after I broke my ankle so obviously I had to cancel that appointment!
So after I got a whole lot of other appointments, christmas, new year and birthday out of the road, I thought I had better front up to the optometrist. The old one had moved, so I found another, and thought oh here we go having to explain SCA again….but I DO need new glasses. So yesterday was the day. My lovely neighbour came and picked me up and helped me into the car, he loaded the trusty walker into the back and away we went. We had a lovely conversation on the way and solved the troubles of the world. All of them.
By this time we had got to Mudgee, and he found a parking space not too distant from the optometrist, unloaded the walker, unloaded me, and I made it over the sloping footpaths. Anyone noticed how many different ways a footpath can slope? And how before ataxia it didn’t matter?
The optometrist was lovely. Her consulting room was, in the manner of all good consulting rooms, small and not necessarily convenient for an ataxian with a walker, but she helped me into her chair, and she used every machine known to man to work out exactly what glasses would suit me best, to discover I have the beginnings of cataracts, but that with the glasses, even WITH the cataracts I will have 20/20 vision. So out to pick the new frames. Sort out which sorts of lenses would be appropriate for me. Pay the deposit. Come back in 10 days please!
On to the supermarket by way of the automatic teller, and the disabled toilet. Well! If I didn’t feel disabled when I went in, I certainly did by the time I came out! The door kept opening, till I discovered I had to press a big red button to lock the door! Duh!
The actual shopping part with my friend was really funny. We both needed coffee, and we both needed chocolate. He couldn’t find the particular type he wanted in the size he wanted. So to stop him feeling guilty about buying the bigger size, I promised to help him eat it. A lot of giggling went on, and I’m sure some younger shoppers were wondering what this pair of oldies were up to in the chocolate aisle. Then onto the cat food section, because we can’t forget Megga.
By this time I had just about had enough. I had had enough of shiny floors, and ramps and noises and people. Apart from some bananas, the rest of the shopping didn’t get done. My brain had just about given up by the time we got to the check out and found we had come to the express lane. I mean I had more than that just in cat food!
Eventually we escaped, more shiny and sloping floors and back to the car, another lovely conversation, this time about his misspent youth (!!) and back home to find the cleaning lady had already been. She was supposed to be here at 2, I was home at 1. She couldn’t get into the house, and rang my daughter. Wendy gave her the code to the keysafe and away she went. I mean I was really pleased she had cleaned the house, and I suspect she actually found it quicker and easier to do without me being there. But I HAD told her employer what times I would be away…..
So I left the groceries unpacked, apart from anything that needed to be in the fridge, settled down with my lunch, and then had a very short snooze. I need a much longer one, but beggars can’t be choosers. I was just exhausted. 4 hours away and it felt like I had been on a week’s trekking through jungle. I slept longer and better last night than I have for weeks.
But all this drama. It never used to be like this. I am used to having drama in my life, but I was the one who would fix it, not be the cause of it. It reinforced what I have thought for quite a while. I am now physically high maintenance. And I am not at all happy about it.
I would love to get married again, or at least have a companion…someone who would spend time with me, and go home (and do their own washing). It is lovely that I have family and friends who will come and make it possible for me to go to appointments and functions, but could I expect someone to do this full time for me? That’s a really big ask. I can’t promise that in x weeks or months I will be better and I will no longer need the walker or at least a cane. I HOPE in x weeks or months I will no longer need the walker or cane…..BUT……gotta be realistic here.
I heard about a lady with early onset dementia who found a lovely understanding gentleman who was prepared to take her on with all the difficulties she was having then, and was likely to have. He must have really loved her. And she must have really loved him. I really hope there is someone similar out there for me….but again….gotta be realistic here.
Just as well I like living alone perhaps.
Just as well too, that I am a Christian, and I believe the promises of the Lord. That I will go to be with Him when I die, or when He come back, whichever happens sooner. 1 Thess 4:17. I will get a new glorified body. 1 Cor 15: 42So is it with the resurrection of the dead. What is sown is perishable; what is raised is imperishable. 43It is sown in dishonor; it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness; it is raised in power. 44It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. 45Thus it is written, “The first man Adam became a living being”;e the last Adam became a life-giving spirit. 46But it is not the spiritual that is first but the natural, and then the spiritual. 47The first man was from the earth, a man of dust; the second man is from heaven. 48As was the man of dust, so also are those who are of the dust, and as is the man of heaven, so also are those who are of heaven. 49Just as we have borne the image of the man of dust, we shallf also bear the image of the man of heaven.
Mystery and Victory
50I tell you this, brothers: flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. 51Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, 52in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. 53For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality.54When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:
“Death is swallowed up in victory.”
55“O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?”
56The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
58Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.
I mean to say. My goodness. If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, and He is with you always, and He has given you promises like this….whatever you are going through…WHATEVER! No matter how painful or disabling, no matter what you are suffering in any way right now, physically, emotionally, spiritually, isn’t it great to have these promises? Isn’t it great to know that He loved us so much that He sacrificed Himself, and shed His blood, so we could have these promises? So that we could share eternity with Him?
What can I say?
Light of Christ 